just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
