she was so not down for the gang bang
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️