redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
