my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
