i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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