The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
