Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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