I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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