nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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