So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
