If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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