...so i touched it.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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