I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
