I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
