yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
