Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
