I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
