you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
my being single is dangerous.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
