Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
