Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
