office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
