somebody snuck up and got me drunk
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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