For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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