I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
