you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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