so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
