I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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