It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
not ubering you a puppy
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