I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
that may or may not have been my penis.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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