I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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