I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
This is my gift to your gina
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The Olympian is in my bed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
