Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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