sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
