I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
