four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
