it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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