...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
