No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
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Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
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He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.