that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..