You're so nebulous sometimes
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
