One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory