how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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