Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
