I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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