Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
