Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
