Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My liver just had a heart attack.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
