Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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