i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
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We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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