NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
