I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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