I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Panties = found
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
