first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
