god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize