He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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