we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
