Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
