I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
