When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
