somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
