So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
