All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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