Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
