dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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