I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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